


Thaw

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Female Characters, Female Protagonist, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2475683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Doesn't anyone in that damned family of yours know how to treat hypothermia?  Idiots!  The whole lot of them are idiots."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thaw

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ataratah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataratah/gifts).



> Date Written: 18-22 October 2014  
> Word Count: 2477  
> Written for: femslashex 2014  
> Recipient: ataratah  
> Summary: "Doesn't anyone in that damned family of yours know how to treat hypothermia? Idiots! The whole lot of them are idiots."  
> Spoilers: Canon divergence with specific spoilers for the ep 04x02 "White Out", taking place after Emma's been released but before Henry goes to the mansion.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply here.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/   
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Just my way of fixing what should have happened at the end of ep 04x02 "White Out". I was considering adding in something with that scene with Henry at the end of the ep, but decided against it at the last minute. This is about Emma and Regina regaining their equilibrium.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual.
> 
> Beta: Shatterpath, but all remaining errors are the cause of my own damned stubbornness.

"And I know I've kept you waiting here  
For so long I've tried to see your face  
(The answer, it lies within)  
The love that lies beneath your skin"  
\-- Bound For Severance, "The Answer"

 

"What kind of _idiot_ are you?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Better them than the tears burning in my eyes.

"Regina--"

"No! No, you don't get to do that," I say, whirling around to face her as I fight the onslaught of emotion threatening to break free. "Why must you always go off half-cocked and get yourself into trouble? You're as bad as your father."

She opens her mouth, most likely to argue, but a low groan escapes instead. As if in slow motion, I watch her crumple to the ground, an arm cushioning her head from smacking against the tile floor. And in the space between one heartbeat and the next, time speeds up again. I race to kneel next to her, cradling her head in my lap.

"Emma? Emma, please don't do this."

Realizing just how cold she feels, I use magic to poof us into my bedroom. It's an unconscious action that I don't even realize until I'm pulling the boots from her feet and settling the covers over her. Unwilling to consider the implications of this use of my magic, I remove my own shoes and slip into the bed next to her. She shifts closer as my arms move to wrap around her body.

"You're freezing cold," I murmur, hands briskly rubbing at her back and right arm. "Doesn't anyone in that damned family of yours know how to treat hypothermia? Idiots! The whole lot of them are idiots."

"L-Left them t-to find you." Her words are soft. "Ign-nored th-them and c-came here."

"Then you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

She tries to scoff at that, but ends up coughing instead. Just as I have countless times in the past when Henry was sick, I shift into a seated position, pulling her up with me to rub her back until the spasms stop. She leans weakly against me and sighs, but I can see a tiny bit of color returning in her pale skin.

"Come on, Emma, lie back down under the covers. You need to warm up. A nice cup of tea and some chicken broth should help with that." I pause to consider. "Maybe we should get you into a warm bath first. How does that sound?"

Shaking her head, Emma tugs at me until I settle next to her again. "D-Don't want anything. J-Just stay with me?"

"Emma, I--"

"M-Miss you," she whispers.

Her confession brings tears to my eyes again. Rather than say anything, I just press her head to my shoulder and rub her back some more. _You're a coward_ , I think to myself. _You've finally got the chance you've been waiting for, but you're doing nothing? Pathetic!_

"Sorry, Gina," she says, shivering, and curls closer into my side.

"Shh, just rest now, Emma," I reply, unwilling to have this conversation just yet. "Conserve your strength and let the down comforter help restore your temperature."

She nods, then sits up suddenly to strip off the leather jacket. I roll my eyes when I see the tank top and thin shirt over it. Tossing the jacket in the general direction of her boots, Emma sheepishly smiles as she settles next to me once again. Her head settles on my shoulder, right arm weighing heavily across my stomach. It takes no time at all for her eyes to close and her breathing to even out. It's a sound I haven't heard in more than a year, that faint whistling that will soon enough turn into a gentle snore. On more than one night, the sounds of her peaceful sleep lulled me into my own restful slumber.

*****

Soft nuzzling kisses along the side of my neck wake me from a sleep I never realized I'd succumbed to in the first place. Emma's body is draped over mine, one denim-clad leg resting between my traitorously spread thighs. She certainly feels warm enough now. I should wake her, send her back to her family and her pirate. But my head tips further to the left, allowing her more access to the column of my neck. When her lips latch onto that spot just below my ear, I let out a soft moan and feel my nipples tighten in response.

"E-Emma?" I ask, gently squeezing her arm. "Come on, Emma. Time to wake up and head home."

"Nuh-uh." Her breath ghosts across my skin, the sensation shooting straight to my groin. "Already home. Never should've left."

At her sleep-fueled confession, the ubiquitous tears make their presence known again, but I can't stop them this time. This is all I've wanted from the moment I came to after touching that damnable curse scroll over a year ago, from the moment that I knew I'd have to give up my happiness to save everyone. I did it willingly, knowing that I deserved nothing less than to lose my happy ending _again_ in atonement for all I've done over the course of my life. Someone with as black a heart as mine doesn't deserve a happy ending.

"Gina? Hey, what's wrong?" Her words pull me from my thoughts enough to realize that she's shifted position, leaning up on one elbow as she wipes ineffectually at the tears streaming down my cheeks. "Come on, Gina, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Y-You need to leave," I say, pushing at her chest.

"What?" She rolls off of me, sitting up next to me, which allows me to do the same. "Like hell if I'm going to leave when you're upset."

"Your family is likely worried about you." I gesture weakly in the direction of the loft. "And I'm quite sure the pirate wouldn't be too happy to find out you're here."

"What the hell does Hook have to do with anything?"

"He's your Tr--"

"I swear to god, Gina, if you say True Love, I'm going to punch you in the mouth."

"But--" I frown and watch as she gets up to pace. "I don't understand."

"He's not my True Love, no matter what anyone else says. He never was and he never will be, no matter how hard he tries. That little drowning thing that Zelena did pretty much put a stop to that idea."

"So… If he's not your Tr-" -- the glare she levels at me steals my breath away -- "not _that_ , then why do you encourage him?"

She paces for a moment longer, chewing at her thumbnail, something I haven't seen her do before. Finally she stops and runs a hand through her hair before staring at me. It feels like those eyes can see straight through my walls to my very soul.

"All I wanted to do when I came back was pick up where we'd left off, even with Henry not having his memories back yet. And what did I find? You getting cozy with the thief and his son. You wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't let me anywhere near you. And Hook was there, pursuing me relentlessly, and I was so hurt, so what else was I supposed to do?"

"So you're saying this is _my_ fault? Because I did the right thing in sending you and Henry away so that I could save all of us from God knows what kind of horrors that Pan's curse had in store?"

"I'm saying you should've given me a chance."

"Like you did with the monkey? You were going to marry him."

"I had no memories of what we had, who we were as a family. And I wasn't going to marry him, Regina."

For long moments, the only sound in the room is our labored breathing. I pull my legs up, wrapping my arms around them, and rest my forehead on my knees. She begins pacing again, but I can't watch her. Tears slip down my cheeks, soaking into the material of my pants. A small part of me knows that I'll have to be careful not to let the salty liquid stain them.

"I didn't love him." Her words are soft, calling to the ache in my soul. "Even without the memories of what you and I had, I didn't feel anything resembling love for him. Even without remembering you, there was some small part of me that just didn't feel right in the relationship."

"Then why?" I can't believe how broken I sound right now. This is pathetic. I wish she hadn't come to my house. And instantly regret that wish for the lie that it is.

"He seemed safe? It seemed like the right thing to do? I don't know. But the minute I had my memories back, I knew why I'd never gotten _that_ close to him. Because I was already in love with someone else. When I found out my family was in danger, I came back right away. I had to see you. And then Hook told me about your thief and I saw the way you looked at him and the way you looked at me and Henry, and…" She sighs heavily and starts to pace again.

"And what?"

"And I stepped back. All I want is your happiness, Gina. That's all I've wanted for a long time now. If it's him, then I'll accept that."

I shake my head, chin now resting on my knees. "His happiness is with Marian and Roland. I wouldn't presume to come between them. Just as I wouldn't presume to come between you and-- and _him_."

She sighs explosively, hands slapping against the sides of her thighs. "Damn it, Regina! There is _nothing_ between me and him. I don't want him. There's only one person I want, and that person happens to be curled up in a miserable ball on her bed right now." She scrubs at her face, then comes to sit next to me, an arm going around my shoulders, voice softening as she continues, "I mean it, Gina. I don't know why everyone thinks they know what's best for me. Fuck fairytale rules. We're not living in the Enchanted Forest, and I never want to see that slice of hell again, so those rules just don't exist. Anyone who wants to live by them is welcome to, but they'd best understand that I live by _my_ rules, no one else's."

"But they're what I was raised with, Emma."

She cups my chin in her free hand, tugging on it until I meet her gaze. "And you created this curse to get away from that land and those rules. I know you like having access to your magic again, but it's _this_ world that is home to you. You've told me that much before."

"My _home_ is where Henry is," I reply softly, then close my eyes to whisper, "and you."

"Then what are we doing right now?" Emma asks before her lips brush lightly across mine. "Why are we fighting like this when it's clear what we both want to be happy?"

"But I don't deser--"

Her grip tightens on my chin, cutting off the rest of my thought. "Don't you _ever_ say that again, Regina Mills. You deserve a happy ending as much as anyone else in this land or any other land. Hell, you deserve it _more_ than most people do because of what you've been through." She releases my chin, gently stroking the skin. "I hope that doesn't leave a mark," she murmurs before pressing her lips along the same strip of skin. "Gina, all I want is to make you happy, make you see just how much you deserve to be happy without any strings attached. You and Henry being happy? That's all that's mattered to me since I finally met Cora during my trip back to the Enchanted Forest with my mother. I fought to get back to you, to save you from that crazy bitch's clutches again."

"But she's gone now…"

"Yeah, but she still lives in here," she says, tapping my temple and my chest. "And she still tells you that you don't deserve to be happy, doesn't she?" When I nod, she repeats the motion. "And I'm going to be here to tell her to fuck off every single time she does that. Because you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have your face light up the entire room when you smile, and you deserve to have someone who loves you reminding you of that fact every single day. And I want to be the person who can do that for you."

"You do?" Without thought, I shift to rest my head on her shoulder, legs stretching across her lap. Some of the tension eases as she starts rubbing my back, and I realize that we're in a reversal of earlier. "Why?"

I can feel her smile against the top of my head. "Because despite all this True Love crap that my parents and everyone else in this damned town keep going on about, there's a tiny bit of truth in it. Love means knowing that you have to sleep on the side of the bed closest to the window because the sound of the wind in the trees calms your nightmares. Love means being able to read your moods just by how you text me. Love means… Love means being stupidly jealous of a man who already has a family he loves, just because he was here to offer any kind of comfort to the woman I love, even when I didn't consciously remember her." She kisses my forehead. "And most of all, love means that I would go through every single minute of my life all over again, good and bad, if it means that I can still be with you."

"I don't want you to leave," I finally whisper, my hand resting over her heart, bolstered by the strong, steady beat. "I can't be that person anymore, Emma."

"What person is that?"

"That person who suffers in silence and contemplates returning to the darkness lurking below the surface. I want to be the kind of person that makes you and Henry proud to include in your family."

Emma shifts a bit, coaxing my head from her shoulder so I can meet her gaze. The smile on her face is unguarded and bright, making me start to smile in response, the tight icy bands around my heart finally thawing in the face of her love. This is clearly the reaction she wants, as she leans in to press a gentle kiss to my lips.

"I love you," she whispers, punctuating each word with another kiss. "I love you, Regina Mills, and I'll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you deserve your happy ending."

"I'm going to hold you to that, Emma Swan."

"Kinda hoped you would."


End file.
